Biden Official On Finding 3 More Classified Boxes: “Well, shit.”

On Tuesday, it was reported that the Biden Administration had found more classified documents at Biden’s personal office in Washington D.C., a safe space he kept for roughly two years between his time as VP and candidate for the Democratic nomination for president in 2019.

The administration reported that they’d forwarded the find to the Justice Department immediately-ish, adding that they waited until after the November election due to “the potential impact it could have on several Senate races.”

What is in the Biden files?

It is rumored that the classified documents contain a handful state secrets, including the truth about UFOs, Osama bin Laden’s browser history, Hunter’s soft porn collection, a rare ISIS trading card, an early cut of Cocaine Bear, and a limited edition promo pack of Garbage Pail Kids trading cards owned by Jeffrey Epstein.

The news followed a media-feeding frenzy this weekend after Biden officials announced that several boxes of classified documents had been found in a personal office of his, stoking cries of hypocrisy from the GOP.

While the establishment Republican party has, by and large, abandoned Trump, his base cried foul and demanded to know what was in the classified boxes.

The revelation that both the left and right are stocked with operators with less common sense than a goldfish shocked MAGO loyalists and left-learning Social Justice Warriors.

Voters on social demanded Joe be raided by the FBI, with some going as far as proclaiming Biden’s secret files a bigger threat to US Democracy than the January 6th mob (times 1,000).

Officials are mostly mum

The Snary Shart imagined reaching out to the DOJ but has not received any official comment. However, reporters at Fox News caught up with a former Biden staffer late Wednesday night.

“I heard that they found the other box,” said Tumnus Faun, a former Department of Agriculture director for the Obama administration, “but I was really surprised; I was sure I tucked it away securely with the parcels I pulled from Project Stargate.”

The news has many questioning whether public officials should even have access to classified information given their temporary employment status.

“For me, secret means secret,” said one Georgia man. “From where I sit, I don’t think anyone should have access to classified information. Imagine if my ex-wife could look at these documents; how does that keep America safe? It just don’t make sense. I’m sorry.”

In the meantime, the GOP has drafted legislation that could lead to charges against President Biden and former staffer Tumnus Faun. The Snarky Shart managed to get a statement with Mr. Faun on his way home from the WLN.

“Charges? Already? Well, shit.”