Tucker Carlson: Zelensky’s Outfit Isn’t Doing It 4 Me

On Wednesday, Fox News host Tucker Carlson went on a rant about Zelensky’s outfit during his meeting with Congress. Is Tucker Carlson eyeing a slot next Fashion Week? Or does Zelensky just get the juices going?

The primetime host made the remarks during his show, Tucker Carlson Tonight, the highest-rated late-night program with around four and a half million viewers.

Tucker Carlson thinks Russia is being punished for “helping Trump win”

After accusing Zelensky of dressing up like a strip club manager to address Congress, Tucker went on to criticize Mitch McConnell and republicans for aligning themselves with Biden against Russia. The host believes that a secret cabal made up of corrupt democrats and republicans is conspiring to take down Russia for political reasons (not because Russia attacked Ukraine).

Tucker was particularly sharty over McConnell’s claim that the republican party’s primary objective was to defeat Russia over issues Tucker believes deserve more attention, like schools, fentanyl, and the economy.

“Punishing Vladimir Putin for putting Donald Trump in office is more important than all of that says Mitch McConnell,” Tucker said, before switching back to the topic of borders. “Ukraine’s borders matter. Ours don’t matter. You may have suspected they thought that. But at this point, they’re just coming out and saying this right in your face.”

This type of rant isn’t new for anyone familiar with the Tucker Carlson Tonight show, but Tucker’s clear bias against Zelensky, coupled with his invidious and petty remarks about the leader’s outfit (knowing the man is at war and must keep up appearances), makes Tucker Carlson a textbook definition of a Snarky Shart.

Call him old-fashioned, but Carlson likes his men in suits

Giving the audience insight into what Carlson doesn’t want to see his men wear, Tucker commented on McConnell’s gitty behavior over Zelensky in green fatigues, comparing them to Sam Friedman and Fidel Castro as an example of what not to do if you intend to impress Fox’s resident fashionista.

“Not since a young Fidel Castro showed up in New York wearing battle fatigues has this country’s aging leadership class tittered more loudly in delight,” Tucker said. “They love a man in uniform. What a hunk. So strong and decisive. Look at the expression in Mitch McConnell’s face, you could almost hear the giggles of pleasure.”

We get it; Tucker isn’t impressed. Who can blame him? After Trump’s NFT announcement and shots like this?

Tucker doesn’t think Zelensky can hold Trump’s jockstrap. Piling onto Zelensky’s pathetic attempts to catfish McConnell while he’s in DC for the week, Carlson expressed his disdain by showing clips of Zelensky in full regalia flexing in front of McConnell.

“44-year old Zelenskyy poses between them in a skintight polo shirt, flexing like a weightlifter and trying to look ferocious,” Tucker said.

Can Tucker Carlson make it in fashion?

The fashion industry is a tough business. And while we know Tucker would totally kick Zelensky’s ferocious ass in a street fight (OMGawad), even Calvin Klein had concerns about the direction the fashion community was going.

“People have told me about organized crime in the fashion industry,” Calvin Klein once said, “but I can’t talk about it. I’m trying to survive.”

Would the transition make sense for Tucker? Jumping from role to role, first as the mouthpiece for the Trump Organization, then the Russian Mafia, and now as Bangkok Dangerous: Fashion Guild, Carlson definitely has experience working with vapid and ambitious madonnas; but does he have what it takes to snag an Isabella Blow award?

At a minimum, Tucker Carlson should be admired for his bravery; it’s rare to find someone of his stature comfortable enough in his skin to know exactly what he wants from a man.